Day 2: A Resolution

I know this is late. I don’t even have a good excuse. “Hi, this is late because I had a super mega lazy ‘no I don’t have kids of my own’ weekend.” But the truth is, I couldn’t write this post until I had my first day back at school after Christmas break. My “resolution” hit me.

I am never one to make resolutions. My resolution is just to rock at life each and every day. When I’m feeling bummed, my husband always pulls out this Barney Stinson quote on me: “When I get sad, I stop being sad and be AWESOME instead.”
It makes me feel better because I laugh, but in all honesty, it doesn’t fix ANY problems when it comes to my whoas at school. I always seems to think that every other job BESIDES teaching can’t even compare to what teachers deal with on a daily basis. Today for instance, it wasn’t just that we started back at school at 8:30 on January 6th, it was that I had to be READY FOR THE ENTIRE DAY AT 8:30 on January 6th. Not show up at work at 8:30, chat to my coworkers around the coffee pot and water cooler for a while about how break was and then start to think about what’s happening during the day. Be ready. at 8:30. For the rest of the day. Non stop.

My resolution is going to sound ridiculous. My resolution is to care less at school.

The change I noticed in my mental health before Christmas break, during Christmas break, and how I feel when I got home from school today is astounding.  It’s the first year I can feel it physically. It is physically exhausting having the job that I have. There have been factors that have made this school year the toughest I’ve had to date. Like an athlete preparing to be at their peak of physical performance during the Olympics, I prepared to be at my peak of mental awesomeness during Christmas break. The week before Christmas break, I made some career decisions that made deciding which paths to take a lot easier. I had a plan, and I liked it.

I have always had Christmas break, but this was the first break that I took that I really didn’t do anything school related. No pinning educational stuff on Pinterest. Barely checking twitter, and only conversing with my friends if it was not related to school. Not checking my school email. Not planning in my plan book. Not shopping for Christmas things on sale for my students that I could use next year. (Ok, that last sentence was a tiny little itty bitty lie because I found these amazing little frames for my students to paint next year and they were 59 cents each at Michael’s. 59 CENTS PEOPLE!)

And yenno what? I went to school today. My students showed up. We had fun together. They felt loved. And we all survived, despite the fact I didn’t do any of that ridiculous stuff that was mentioned above. I feel like in previous years, I could talk the talk, but not walk the walk. My name IS NOT Mrs. Silky “Just Wing It” Cactus. That goes against every fiber of my being. I know how many carrots and how many cups of chicken broth I will need for the week based on my meal planning, people.

For this year, I need to be OK with change. I need to care less about every single little detail that goes on in my school life. I need to care less about anticipating what’s going to happen.

I need to “wing it”. Even if it’s just sometimes.